Thrive Freeze Dried Pineapple Chunks
By Jason Wagner
Before we go a lick further, my favorite part about this fruit is that, when you suck on it for a few moments, it reverts to something that, while it isn’t quite the same as regular pineapple, it gets very close; you can just feel your serotonin increasing as a result of that delightful saliva-fruit phenomenon.
Taste – 9.0/10: Sugary, fruity…pineapple like in taste, need I say anymore? Maybe I should, that was pretty brief; Given that it’s a freeze dried fruit product, it lacked one of the distinctive traits of fresh and/or canned pineapple – an explosive bite, which is what I like to call it when you chomp on a piece of pineapple, and it sort of explodes, so to speak with sugary juice. Despite that medium-large complaint, I think that, at least in some ways, given how it’s so light and chewable, this makes for a better snack than traditional pineapple.
Texture – 9.0/10: The best part here is that it’s lighter in bite than fresh pineapple, so in a way that’s a plus. The problem here is that it’s lighter than regular pineapple, so it doesn’t taste quite true to form. Similar to my thoughts on the taste, the difference in texture here is both a curse and a blessing, and ultimately I think they balance each other out pretty well, or should I say amazingly well considering that this doesn’t go to mush in a couple of weeks. My biggest complaint here is that, while most of the pieces are airy and very nice to gnaw on, some are a little tough.
Convenience – 10/10: As long as your hands work, you’re in the easiest of culinary business here. Why do you need working hands? It’s, in my opinion, crucial that you be able to grasp the bag, and tear it at the notch; so, yes – that is to say, this is extremely convenient!
Operational Security – 10/10: This is one of those glorious things were, I can truthfully say, so long as they cannot hear you chewing you’re as stealthy as a cat hiding in a tree stump. I, every now and then like to imagine myself, in the bush, scouting groups of survivors with unknown allegiances/temperaments with my scoped rifle, and, every minute or so, grabbing a handful of these to munch on.
Nutrition – 7.0/10: They’re healthy, there’s absolutely no doubt about that. It’s the nutritional contents that are in question here; on their own, they don’t really provide the calories or vitamins that a human needs when operating at any level of efficiency. Like I said, on their own – pair this with a meal, and this suddenly becomes a really boon to your health. It’s almost like serving a salad with a steak.
Weight/Bulk – 10/10: These serving, even when stored by the buckets are as heavy as nothing, and, in equal measure – take up literally no space what-so-ever, which makes them all the more appealing to stock. It can’t all be MRE’s and all of that extravagance, now can it?
Shelf Life – 9.7/10: The canned version supposedly lasts for 25+ years, which seems like a fair estimate, so long as the inside of the can is coated with something corrosion resistant like enamel or the fruit is bagged. The pouched version, when stored inside of its original bucket will, according to the manufacturer, and when kept in ideal conditions last 25 years; as in, it’ll still be edible and nutritious. Like I said, it all seems mighty believable, and in practice, so long as you keep it away from, what I’d imagine freeze dried fruits biggest enemy to be – humidity, you can count on this product for the long haul, which is important for anything, and double that for survival/emergency/apocalypse food.
Man Portability & Efficiency – 10/10: Not a charcoal of fuel is need, no serving ware, no water – not even a knife is required to indulge in this. And, just look at the weight/bulk, the same traits that make it great for storage make it great for throwing into the pack.
Filling Factor – 7.0/10: On their own merits, things like these weren’t designed to fill people with any kind of substantive appetites, more or less, they were designed as quick and healthy snacks. Something to eat while you’re on the move, or as a healthful finish to a meal, and you know what, that’s fine – everything has it purpose and place. Its place, as a snack is actually fulfilled pretty well, even if your hungry, if you eat one of these, it’ll no doubt take some of the edge off.
Final Review 9.2/10: Freeze dried fruit are one of those really neat things that modern technology has allowed, and they certainly aren’t a gimmick; and even if they were a gimmick, they’re a really tasty and healthful one. Having things like this on hand is more important than you might initially think; having plenty of canned vegetables around is a good start, but that isn’t enough, having plenty of one type of MRE around is great, but that won’t keep you happy very long, having a few varieties of food, all in great number is a great foundation, but again – that isn’t enough variety – you get the point; first worry about having enough food on hand, then you can start to consider the next important implantation – variety, which is of course the spice of life in times of peace, and the stuff of life and death in an Armageddon.
Note: I advise that you bring a little extra water along with you; this product being freeze dried and all, tends to dry out your mouth and make you slightly more thirsty when eaten as is.
Note: It’s possible to rehydrate these, and while I love the option, and consider it like two different meals, I think this is best eaten dry.