Mountain House Freeze Dried Neapolitan Ice Cream Review

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Mountain House Freeze Dried Neapolitan Ice Cream Review:

By Jason Wagner

Mountain House always does an admirable job at glossing their packaging.

Mountain House always does an admirable job of glossing their packaging.

Taste – 10/10:
Ah, 10/10! You might be asking why I would give out a 10 out of 10…than again you probably aren’t asking yourself that; why would you? Anyways, you will almost certainly love this ice creams bold, creamy flavor so long as you understand that it won’t taste like a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. First of all, it’s definitely not cold, it does not melt and there are no ice crystals to be found. It helps if you remember that while this is similar to frozen ice cream, it is (clearly) a different entity altogether. So long as you don’t buy this with unrealistic expectations, you will be happy with your Mountain House Neapolitan ice cream.

The chocolate flavor is the most bombastic of the three, the vanilla is the most subdued and my personal favorite is the rich, but subtle strawberry bits. Overall, Mountain House’s freeze dried Neapolitan offering is a worthy addition to any survivor’s palette.

Texture – 10/10:
In short, the texture is hard, but crumbly. In theory that may not sound too appetizing, however, this product has a luscious way of slowly melting, or dissolving, if you prefer, in your mouth.
Shelf Life – 10/10:

Eh, another 10/10? I am starting to feel like an apologist…Still, if a product merits admiration, who am I to say otherwise? As with virtually all freeze dried pantry foods, Mountain House’s Neapolitan ice cream should keep fresh for 5 – 7 years, depending on the environment in which it is stored. Now, if you buy the canned version (a bunch of ice cream packs stuffed into a can, I believe) it could easily keep for 25 years…in the right environment.

The paper is a surprisingly effective defense against excessive crumbling.

The paper is a surprisingly effective defense against excessive crumbling.

Filling Factor – 1/10:
See, I am not a total Mountain House fanboy! As far as sticking to your ribs goes, this product fails in virtually every respect to the point that it’s nothing short of pathetic. Buy these as a moral boosting ends to a meal, not as a meal in of themselves.

Portability – 9.2/10:
As the picture clearly illustrates, this item is the near-epitome of portable. Stuff it in your BOB, stuff it in your backpack, stuff it in your face – it’s easy to keep on your persons at only 0.75 ounces.

Storability – 8/10:
As far as storing it goes, it stores as well as any other emergency dessert, I suppose.
Nutrition – 2/10:
Okay, so these are basically nutritionally dead. You get 120 cheap caloric units per pack, mostly from sugar and that’s about all you can expect from this. Of course, if you’re eating freeze dried ice cream for nutrition, you should probably reassess your outlook.
OpSec (Operational Security) – 10/10:
There is no cooking process for this what-so-ever, which means that there is no smoke or fire or scent. Those pesky raiders will never know that you’re enjoying freeze dried ice cream 20 years after the nuclear apocalypse. Hell, you don’t even have to chew! Letting it melt in your mouth is the tastiest method of consuming this Neapolitan delight, anyway.

Final Review – 8.5/10:
So long as you can accept the underwhelming facets of Mountain House’s Freeze Dried Neapolitan ice cream, you will absolutely love this product. To summarize, Mountain House’s freeze dried Neapolitan ice cream is a delicious treat that succeeds in nearly every single area except nutrition and portion size.

Tragically, the milk is not included.

Tragically, the milk is not included.

 

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